A Christmas gift from my boyfriend. My older sisters at Jezebel would be so proud. (Taken with instagram)
This is accurate, thoughtful… and heartbreaking. There’s this idea that women have to be perfect to get a guy, and there are so few good guys out there - unless you’re amazing, you couldn’t possibly deserve one. A girl should be so lucky to have ANY guy like her-if he’s a piece of shit, well… you still need to lose a little weight/be prettier/have some other, better physical asset to get one of the 4 good guys in the world. Don’t complain. You’re not that great anyway.
It’s ridiculously damaging, and something I’ve hurt myself with I think. We’re all people, and some of us are assholes, and some of us aren’t. When you’re in a relationship with someone, don’t be an asshole and don’t settle for being with an asshole just because you are a somehow flawed human being. We are all flawed, and being “not Megan Fox” is not a deal breaker flaw that means you need to settle for whoever.
And probably the only thing you will read with the phrase “crotch barista” in it.
No promises though. I don’t know what you read (no judgement).
“For all its successes, feminism has not succeeded in eradicating the factors that lead so many young girls to be obsessed with praise and validation. We still thrust dolls into the hands of toddler girls, which isn’t a problem — and then we encourage these small children to take responsibility for the emotional well-being of these inanimate objects. (As child psychologists will confirm, people respond differently to a child smashing a doll/action figure. Boys tend to be told ‘Don’t break your toys’; girls are much more likely to hear ‘Don’t let your dolly hit her head on the ground. It hurts her.’) While both boys and girls may grow up hearing the old adage that it is “better to give than to receive”, girls are much more likely to be given regular instruction in how to give - and much more likely to be rebuked for “selfishness” if they show too much desire to receive. (Ask around. ‘Selfish’ ranks right up there with “slut” and “fat” as an epithet with tremendous power to wound women. It only rarely does the same damage when applied to men.)”
And one author gets a chance to be the terrible voice in so many women’s head, telling them how disgusting and unworthy of love they are. Well done, Maura Kelly, keep up the hate.
